epsnoise simulates pixel noise in weak-lensing ellipticity and shear measurements. This open-source python code can efficiently create an intrinsic ellipticity distribution, shear it, and add noise, thereby mimicking a "perfect" measurement that is not affected by shape-measurement biases. For theoretical studies, we provide the Marsaglia distribution, which describes the ratio of normal variables in the general case of non-zero mean and correlation. We also added a convenience method that evaluates the Marsaglia distribution for the ratio of moments of a Gaussian-shaped brightness distribution, which gives a very good approximation of the measured ellipticity distribution also for galaxies with different radial profiles. We provide four shear estimators, two based on the ε ellipticity measure, two on χ. While three of them are essentially plain averages, we introduce a new estimator which requires a functional minimization.